Excuses – I’m Guilty

If you are reading this blog, you must have someone or yourself who is touched by mental illness.  I want you to know that this does not need to define you!  For so many years I let it define me.  Not outwardly.  But inwardly.  Excuses.


I would tell myself after every time that I failed, that it was because I had Bipolar Disorder.  This is, of course, before I found out it was a misdiagnosis and that I had Borderline Personality Disorder.  However, the excuses never changed, only the name in which the blame was targeted changed.  Instead of, “I quit because I am Bipolar” it became, “I quit because I have BPD.”

This became my crutch.  It was my way to not feel like shit and have an inanimate scapegoat.  I could blame it all I wanted and it would look like I was just a poor fellow that had issues.  Well, I was wrong.

Forrest Gump

I’m assuming the vast majority of you have seen Forrest Gump, because a vast majority of everyone ever has seen it.  There is a specific scene when Forrest, the main character, breaks free from his leg braces and begins to run.  It’s a super iconic scene.  If you haven’t seen it, here it is.  Well, in the scene when he gets rid of the braces on his legs he can finally run.  This is so relatable, because when you get rid of the excuses you make for yourself you become free.  You have nothing to blame but yourself, and that will make you push even harder to get what you want out of this precious life.

Life without excuses

Once these excuses have been eliminated, your problems don’t just end.  You will certainly still have the problems you’ve always faced, but now you’ll have a better outlook on the situation.

Without excuses you lose that always ready escape hatch that will bail you out of trouble when needed.  It was guilt-free and a great way to avoid what you fear the most.  The problem is, growth as a person comes through situations in which we are uncomfortable.  Comfortability, in my eyes, is a bigger demon than the blatantly obvious mental illness that we face.  When you become too comfortable you will become stagnant and never be excited.  It’s like choosing vanilla for the rest of your life.

My point is, when you throw away the excuses, or in my eyes, the escape route, you run out of options.  Instead of “do it” or “don’t and just blame my illness when it gets hard” it just becomes “DO IT.”  This is beyond important to me.  I lived my early years in fear and always had that escape route.  Without the excuses I’m slowly starting to grow again, after being stagnant for so long.

keep pushing – only time to compare

When things get really hard at work, school, or anything else (they will) I will allow you to compare, just this one time.  I want you to compare yourself only to these people who suffer from mental illness and have cleared all of the obstacles.  IT CAN BE DONE!  When you think to yourself, as I have, “I can’t do it because of my illness” i want you to think of that list of people in the link.  They all were so successful, and accomplished just as much, if not more than someone without this shitty situation.  Number one on the list literally is one of the greatest presidents in our history.

it’s going to feel stressful

When that moment in time comes you need to be prepared to look it in the face and follow through.  It isn’t going to be easy, in fact, it’s going to be really stressful.  This is when you need to do self-talk and look at that list.  The list for me is not just a reason to throw away my excuses, but more of a motivational tool.  It gives me a great, “if they can do it, so can I” attitude.

When the stressor arrives you need to be mindful and motivate yourself.  Things like:

  1. Deep Breathing – This can help tremendously.  If you watch a guided meditation on youtube you may be able to relax when the stressor feels overwhelming.
  2. Exercise – When you get the blood pumping, it is a great way to relieve the stress!
  3. Bandaid – Don’t drag it out.  Try to just go for it and do it.  It will hurt (mentally) far less!
be amazing

Go further than you thought you ever could and never look back.  I want you to live the greatest life you can and understand that it wouldn’t be that way if you were to hide under the blanket of excuses we all use.  I’ve wanted to start this blog for years and finally threw away all of the excuses and did it.  I had panic attacks when I published it, but it all eventually passed and this is now my greatest outlet.  I even think it helps people!  If you haven’t checked out the Tales of Tom T-Shirts, there’s only 2 DAYS LEFT!  Grab one before they’re gone!  If you already got one I want you to post it on Instagram and comment why you’re wearing it!

Throw away whatever excuses or limitations you may have on yourself and beat the odds if you feel they aren’t in your favor.  Everyone loves to see the underdog win!  Especially me!  Remember NOT TODAY!