2018 And Being Accountable

2017: One of the most turbulent years of my life.  It was filled with its fair share of ups and downs.  I met the greatest girl in the world and am beyond happy with her, and on the other end of the spectrum I lost 20 lbs during the month of October.  I didn’t leave my room in one of my longest depressions yet and rarely ate.  The way I want to look at this past year is as a learning experience.  What I learned is that life is never worth giving up on.  As shitty as October was, I wouldn’t trade numbing that pain at the cost of not feeling the greatness of my better days. 

The best decision I ever made was the choice to fight through the most intense sadness I have ever felt.  Looking forward, I have set some goals for myself:

  1. Be the best MAN I can be
  3. The always cliché “lose weight”
  4. Make this blog the best it can be

Being the best man I can be is a tough one.  How do you define it?  Easy.  However I want to.  I have my own core values and sticking to those will be what defines me being a great man.  I think that I need to stand my ground and fight for what I believe in.  What I need to accomplish is going to sleep at night knowing that I show kindness every day and supporting those in need along with those I love. 

Taking chances.  I feel like I live a very fearful life.  This year I want to be able to say that I took the chances I needed to and was able to not be such a people pleaser.  As much as I want to make this year about helping others, I need to be able to help myself and make myself happy.  There are so many things that I feel I’ve backed off of at the risk of making someone else upset or displeased when it would have made me happy.  Part of 2018’s mission to be fearless is the fact that I need to take risks that will force me to be accountable.  This year I plan on getting a job that is going to be stable and then to buy a car.  The car is serving two purposes; it is going to get me out of the piece of shit that I’m driving now, and to have some costs that will keep me glued to my job and to make me motivated.  I think these were the kinds of things I would shy away from because in the back of my mind I would have that doubt creep in and say, “don’t buy it, what if it doesn’t work out?”  I need to put those fears aside and have faith that it will all work out.

Like half of the country does, I want to lose weight.  With the medications that I am on, it made me gain a ton of weight.  My horrific diet didn’t help the situation either.  Accountability has been a mainstay on this post and I want it to stay with me throughout the year.  I have a friend of mine who is going to keep me accountable in the gym and this is a great development and hope to lose 20 lbs by the summer.

The last thing I want to write about is how great I want to make this blog.  I’ve been slacking and know it.  2018 is going to be the year that I help as many people as I can and hopefully able to reach a ton of people.  If you want to help my mission, it’s as easy as sharing my page on FB.  I think that it is so important for people to see this page and know that people go through the same exact thing that you’re afraid to admit, or thought was normal.  It’s the shitty truth.  Sometime we think that the feelings we have are “normal” and that we are just not equipped to handle what everyone else seems to do so seamlessly.  We are not “babies” or “wimps” we are unique and need to learn special tools in order to handle the world the way others do.  Nobody is perfect.  2018 won’t be perfect.  Let’s have a great year and make great things happen together.

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